Hello Hermitdom!

[Incog Neato]

Does anyone else have as much as a non-life as me? :DDD

Example: I DO NOT keep in contact with ANY folks I knew from elementary, high school, or university/college.

I only chat with about 5 folks online regularly through IM: my boyfriend (lives in the US) and 3 other American friends. And there's the one real life friend that lives about a 15-minute drive from my home who I only talk to on and off online or over the phone. We hang out every now and then.

So basically, when I die, no one other than the immediate family will be at my funeral. :P

[Yakra]

Yip! But its mostly self enforced on my part. I mean while I do enjoy people's company, after a while, if I have to be around too many people for too long (meaning, they're not leaving my place! D: ), I start to get reaaaaally restless. :'D

So usually I end up locking myself up, shutting my phone and hiding away for weeks (and months even!) when I'm working on some project (which is... almost all the time). X'D

I'm lucky though that most of my college friends live in different cities though! :'D *mean* I guess... I only talk to two people regularly...? (That too through mail or IM [but one of them just returned back here and I can very much see my days of peaceful hermitdom coming to an end!])

[Red Hairdo]

Well, I had some friends until many things happened, uhm,... 5 or 6 years ago.
I was more like forced to get away from everybody from elementary and high school.
If I didn't things would have gotten worse. =/ I have a sad past.

I don't care for the people at the school I was in. I have/had a few friends there in the end, but not of the like to keep seeing or hanging out.

But I'm not totally isolated. When I entered a smash community, there were these people who I thought I would never call them friends... I was very wrong. xD
When I speak about "Friends" I'm usually referring to them or to some guys I know that are huge Ys fans (i. e. the dood translated Ys I COMPLETE to portuguese). And very, VERY few other exceptions.

Now that I'm in college, I'm friends with many people, but to be honest... I don't care much about them, and I would never call them "friends", except when I'm with them, though I'd be lieing to them. Most are OK people, but there isn't anything big in particular that would "link" us together. I respect and talk and help all of them, but that's how I feel about them. It just can't be helped. =/


To sum things up, I was a lone wolf, and now I'm a "lone" wolf with some companions at my side whom I trust.

[Justin]

I had many friends, but some are dead, and some changed. I have a few friends that I have known since I was very young, but my girlfriend is my best friend. Kinda weird that she is American too

[Nalacakes]

Umm...while I write quite a lot in some of my posts here, in real life I'm extremely shy and timid. Like...a lot more than I even know how to express in words? Even my family are lucky to get a few words out of me in a day, and while I've gotten a little better over the last few years, I still have trouble opening up to most everyone. I have one real life friend. And she's just as shy and family-orientated as me, so, while we always get along, we've never actually met up or spoken outside of class. We just end up talking lots via email~ ^^;

Online I'm a little better. I know a few people via email (I met Wyrdwad like that~), and I've been part of a couple of little communities here and there. But generally I don't fare so well online either~ Even ignoring the fact that I'm not very interesting, and don't have much to offer people, friendship is still a very new thing to me. I'm not so good at...um...keeping things together? I'm too used to being able to drift away into my own little world when I want to. And I space off so much that I often end up just falling out of touch with people. It's terrible of me, really...

So umm...yes, I'm also a candidate for hermitdom, I suppose? ^^; Although like Yakra, I'm not so unhappy this way. I didn't really do much for the first nine years of my life besides read and write, so quiet solitude is really the most natural thing in the world to me... And I'm very lucky in that the few people I do have in my life are all so wonderful... ^^; My siblings have always watched out for me, especially my older brother, who I've always been on really good terms with. My parents practically spoil me, and my tutors always seem to mother me and look out for me ahead of other kids. And the one friend I do have, someone I met in college last year, is...kind of an angel? She's absolutely the kindest, sweetest person I've ever come across, and has sort of become my role model since we met. ^^;

So...umm...yes... I guess from the outside my life might look kind of dorky and sad, but I'm really pretty grateful for all I have~! If things were to continue exactly the way they are now until the day I die...I think I'd die happy. ^^;

[Red Hairdo]

Humm... yeah. xD Like you I'm fine with my life as it is now, and I also feel grateful for everything.

And that's what I think really matters.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

I'm kinda Wyrdy-style; I got a close circle of friends I go hang with on the weekends, sometimes during the week, depending on what is going on (like recently we had a mutual online friend from Oregon down here, so I spent a lot of the week there). I also tend to visit family a lot, like my grandparents, whom I've always been close with.

I'm not so antisocial as Wyrdy, but I cam emphasize with sometimes not wanting to do anything. I got kinda bad about that with family, to be honest. And I can dig on wanting alone time periodically, to recharge one's batteries. I usually can't stay away from home for more than a couple days, lest something exciting is going on. I also have a fair deal of online friends; I used to have almost no friends due to living in the middle of nowhere before I found the internet.

[Justin]

Does everyone agree that camping blows. I hate it with a passion, its like having to spend time with people, and when you dont want to you can't escape. My girlfriend absolutely loves it, and it really puts a damper on our relationship sometimes.

[Ascended Mermaid]

Heh. Well let's see...

- 3-4 years ago, I had maybe 14 friends (in person).
- 2 years ago, I ditched them all.
- 1 year ago, I had maybe 6 friends (in person).
- This year, I ditched them all.

Basically, if I'm not living a sheltered life, I'll make sure I am by next year. X) People give me reasons to hate them, so I kinda put up walls and hide away. No phone service, no e-mails, no MySpace, no contact. I talk to you effers online because... well, frankly, I like you guys. That, and I'm sure that you won't pull some shit or cross me anytime soon, as I absolutely refuse to meet a one of you. (So far.) Don't worry, you're still all I've got. I'm rather distanced from my family, don't really say much... but I do hang out with them still, draw house schematics, compile work lists (things to do, things to buy) and all that crap. Then maybe, just maybe, the house we're building will be complete. I already have it all mapped out, it's finding the money and getting it done that's been the problem. We've been doing this since I was 14. This same damn house, this same damn project. That's all I care about. To build my own house, live in my own house, and die in my own house, the way I want to die; without some hag breathing down my neck or weeping on my corpse.

[rocket]

here here to „^nsavory ‡”aggot.

I like the whole house struggle that is so cool... Hope you get it built.

Camping.... Defined as rv or tent and sleeping bags? the rv thing isnt bad. I wont do the tent and sleeping bag thing. I prefer the chelet in banff best. I want to go back there so bad... will probally go again next winter. although i will never ski or snowboard... rather sad i wanted to snowboard but will never be able. hell i would be luck to ever can ice skate again. sorry i sorta got off topic.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

Maggot, didn't you once say that you were given a perscription for psychiatric drugs, and you decided not to take them?

[Ascended Mermaid]

*nods silently*

- Age 16, admitted to Mental Institution
- Halloween, freed from Institution with antidepressants
- Stopped taking antidepressants before Age 17

- Age 20, noticed simialarities between self and father's mental background
- Got a psyche eval., started taking meds for bipolar disorder
- Stopped taking meds after 6 months

I don't think there's anything wrong with me, I just don't get along with others. School was the same way too. For perspective: personality A kids sit together and chat up a storm, personality B kids group together away from personality A kids, personality C kids sit alone unless they're invited, personality D kids sit alone period; no questions asked. I was more often personality D; didn't get along with anyone, didn't know how to socialize, had my head in the clouds and hid away. There was a point when I tried to be personality A, but I was often shunned, rejected and ridiculed. Perhaps I was mentally incompatible with others from the start.

Here's where I get lost: I question my goals. If I became a teacher in Japan, would I be more homely or would I still build walls between myself and the rest of society? What if me being a hermit is only a phase? Would there be a point in time when I can get along with others? I don't trust people at all currently, but if they try to gain my trust, I become uncomfortable if I begin to feel they have any chance of earning and betraying that trust, and I back off to the point where I'm no longer on their radar. It doesn't matter if they appear to be shiny happy people, it doesn't matter what their clique or group is, they're damned for the simple fact that they are what they are; people.

A few/couple months back, I started an anonymous blog to detail my findings on people, what I like and dislike (mostly dislike), what has happened, what my fears are, the whole shishkabob. I try to find an answer, reach some kind of conclusion, some level ground where I can be comfortable with people and achieve my goals... and then I go in a circle about how I despise people and am better off hiding away. I'm a real mental case when it comes to these kinds of things.

As long as I don't start feeling compassionate, sympathetic or empathetic, I'll be fine. I'm happy as I am, not being so human. I used to care at one point, I really did. Life as it is just didn't want to leave me be, so I did what I could to bury my soul. If you expect bad things to come, bad things will come; but you know something? They won't bury you half as deep.

Is it me, or do you appreciate good things less, if you expect those too?

[Ascended Mermaid]

Hmmm... well certainly, they have more relaxing jobs out there, don't they? You can trust me though; I'm just a recluse, I'm not homicidal in spite of what I may say or what my sense of humor could lead people to believe.

I agree though; I liked retail, but if my fast food jobs are any indication, I don't think I want to know what trying to teach some unappreciative little whelps would do for my mentality.

Come to think of it, I used to scare high schoolers. I blame Columbine for creating active and simialar stereotypes. Rest assured, that's not my bag, baby!

[Ascended Mermaid]

I'll certainly keep that in mind, then. Thanks for keeping me in check. I'll be sure to look out for other opportunities in Japan, I'm sure there's something I can do which doesn't require high tolerance or patience. Perhaps more thought is in order.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

I've been thinking about what to say for a bit now, and I really can't come up with anything that wouldn't cross a line, and probably end up turning into a huge spat unless we were both commented to a rational and detailed talk, and were willing to give each other the benefit of a doubt.

I sympathize with your situation, but I think you misrepresent it to yourself in a couple seemingly minor but key ways. I think that's about all I can say. Please don't think I'm attacking you, I feel for you, and want to see things get better for you.

[FM-77AV]

Sounds to me that you might be having aspberger syndrome. Ever looked into that?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

On topic: No I am not a hermit though. Maybe I used to be, for a while, but not anymore. While I don't really give a crap about most people, I do have both my significant other as well as friends that I constantly hang out with. I used to love being alone, all the time, and thought that this is the way I want to live forever. But I realized that I was wrong, and that loneliness was really bad for me. So, no more of that for me.

[Yakra]

Jul 6, 2008 11:40:39 GMT -5 Justin said:

Does everyone agree that camping blows. I hate it with a passion, its like having to spend time with people, and when you don't want to you can't escape. My girlfriend absolutely loves it, and it really puts a damper on our relationship sometimes.

Back when I was 9 or 10, I really, really wanted to go camping. So much so that... my friends and I used to build a mock tent and er... pretend we were camping. :'D

And then the 'tent' collapsed on us. Each time! XD

But somehow, I don't think I have it in me to go camping now. Not because of the people interaction or anything. ...I just don't want to run into any spooky ghosts, hedgehogs, wild boars, random overzealous militants, etc. *overactive imagination*

As for teaching in Japan...

Jul 7, 2008 0:31:10 GMT -5 Wyrdwad said:

Unsavory: For the love of all that is holy, DO NOT become a teacher in Japan. Speaking as someone who worked as an English teacher in Japan for two years, you would NOT escape from that country with even the tiniest shred of sanity intact. You would have no privacy there, you would constantly be hounded by students, and you would be teaching people who actively refuse to learn. You would flip out, and completely hate your life if you were to teach in Japan.

I would have thought teaching would be like this anywhere? Especially the part about 'teaching people who actively refuse to learn'! XD

You have to be a real social animal, like I used to be, in order to be a successful teacher... and even then, you'll go home a mere shadow of what you once were, like I am now.

That's really surprising to hear though! I guess its because you're talking from a teaching perspective. Back when I was contemplating about going off for Masters, this lady I ended up having a talk with declared that if I wanted to study in Japan I would have to give up all my social life and become an ultimate machine-like workaholic. (Which didn't seem too bad to me, since I'm already like so... X'D)


Unsavory Maggot: Perhaps you could consider a career as an artist?

[Ascended Mermaid]

Haha, FM! Everyone thinks I've got Asperger's (which, everyone pronounces "ass burgers") but I clearly don't. Asperger's kids rock around, do everything like an autistic person would; but I don't think I'm autistic. I'm just different in some ways. Trained doctors infact aren't the ones that say it, and infact deny the possibility altogether; it's mostly school teachers, ex's and random internet nerds that seem to think I've got it.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

I know a couple people who have Assburgers, and you're too competant in the social interactions we have here to seem like you have it. The Aspies I know are very... stilted in how they type, very factual and informal. And generally they don't get sarcasm and such at all, without a lot of work on their part.

You're too natural in your conversing to have it, I think. =]

[Ascended Mermaid]

Haha, see? Now that's what I like to hear!

As far as me being bipolar, having social anxiety or depression; well... I chalk all of that up to just simple phases of my life. There's nothing really chemical about it; everyone goes through what I've been through... I think.