Planned purchases, wishlists & game dev. thread

[Ascended Mermaid]

My fears be damned! I'm reading the Driver's Manual! ~_~

[Ascended Mermaid]

This. Is a bumpy road.
I'm spending my days.
Sitting at my computer.
Staring at the screen.
I find my mind wandering.
Back in time.
Forward in time.
When what's in front of me.
Is precious.

Patience.
Practice.
Discipline.
I need these things.
I need to get myself in it.
Cos. I'm an awesome dude.

[Ascended Mermaid]

So here's the story. I was playing Dance Dance Revolution SuperNova 2, and having been stuck on Arrabbiata for a whole year, I got fed up. So I "got" Max, Max 2, and X.

So what happened? I said to myself "I want friends. I will have friends. I know I don't have friends NOW, but that will change!"

I cancelled all of my Amazon orders; I really want to have friends, and I wouldn't be able to see any of my potential friends or hang out or do anything fun without money! So now, having cancelled my orders, I'll eventually have the money for transportation and stuff, whenever necessary.

I even cancelled Ys I + II (DS), and Little Nemo (DVD). My potential friends are very lucky to have a friend like me. ^_^;

[Ascended Mermaid]

In Maine, the north-eastern most state. I still have a few more paychecks to go (and I'm getting paid bi-weekly) before I can afford transportation of that radius -- round-trip even. The fact stands that I'd have to take a Taxi to and from another town (if I wanted to catch a bus), which is paid by mileage; estimated $85 per trip to/from a bus station, plus bus tickets, more taxi fare, lodging, food, etc... I'd have to wait about 2-4 months prior to any short visit. Still, it was a thoughtful, worthwhile suggestion.

[Ascended Mermaid]

So, let's talk about my friends.

1. Has been sick since December. Rarely speaks.
2. Has been at a concert. Occasionally-mostly speaks.
3. May be working, possibly ignoring my mail. We'll see.
4. Stopped talking to me.
5. Stopped talking to me.
6. Stopped talking to me.
7. Stopped talking to me.
8. Stopped talking to me.
9. Stopped talking to me.

I feel loved. ^_^ Oh well, screw whoever doesn't talk to me anymore! ;D Just... not literally.

[AllenSmithee]

So I admitted to a bunch of friends (not really my family, although kinda but nothing really official to them yet) that I am bisexual.

So yeah. I am.

Couldn't find a place to post it, so here it is.

[Justin]

Cool, I would buy you McNuggets if you were close.

[AllenSmithee]

Yeah, I just wanted to let it out there. It isn't like a huge deal, because I wasn't really faking either way.

[Ascended Mermaid]

So anyway. Now it's time for my big revelation. ;D

I'm kidding. Everything I've said is out in the open anyway. But I'm having trouble coping... so much trouble coping... I can't date. Somehow I know that dating leads to sex, and that sex leads to transferring my STI. And that... I can't do, because I have a BIG heart. I got this STI from PROTECTED sex, and I can't protect anyone from my STI if I used protection, because... well... it's in an area that protection can NOT cover. Need more information? Read on, here are some excerpts from my daily conversations with a mystery chick that I am interested in dating, but refuse to date:

nsvrymggt (2:46:20): I wish I had a real penis to bang people with. ._.
nsvrymggt (2:46:38): Well, a clean one anyway.
nsvrymggt (2:47:22): I wonder if they have genital guillotines.
nsvrymggt (2:48:50): You know. Guillotines. They're the medieval devices used for decapitating people in days of old.
nsvrymggt (2:53:02): en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillotine
That's a guillotine. Pictures of guillotines. Anyway, I suppose now you get the picture when I say "genital guillotines".
nsvrymggt (2:56:09): I'm not saying that I would. I'm just saying that... eh, I'd rather subject myself to that than what I have. XD
nsvrymggt (2:57:43): XD and then I could get a fake one. So people don't get hurt like I am.

nsvrymggt (2:58:57): OR... I could just wait until Obama's healthcare plan pulls through... and have the problem lasered out.
nsvrymggt (2:59:19): Because they have surgeries. That I can't afford. Without Obama's coverage. And they could help me.
nsvrymggt (3:09:19): I'm going to look up my disease AGAIN... to make sure I'm remembering the details right. I mean... if it's spread merely through contact with the warts, which CAN be removed via surgery... then I can be normal-ish, but still have HPV.

nsvrymggt (3:11:07): Unlike cervical cancer, genital warts are not life threatening. But, they can be life altering. Even after treatment, genital warts can come back. In fact, 25% of cases come back within 3 months.
nsvrymggt (3:11:28): GARDASIL is the only cervical cancer vaccine that helps protect against 4 types of human papillomavirus (HPV): 2 types that cause 70% of cervical cancer cases, and 2 more types that cause 90% of genital warts cases. GARDASIL is for girls and young women ages 9 to 26.

nsvrymggt (3:13:34): Genital warts are usually flesh-colored growths that are caused by certain types of HPV. The types of HPV that cause genital warts (HPV Types 6 and 11) are different from the types that can cause cervical cancer. Even after seeing pictures of genital warts, you may not be able to recognize them. That's because genital warts don't always look the same. They can be raised or flat, small or large, and alone or in clusters. Not to mention, some warts can grow inside a woman's vagina, or on the cervix, making them hard to see.

nsvrymggt (3:13:49): HPV doesn't care who you are. In fact, there are about 1 million new cases of genital warts each year in the United States.

nsvrymggt (3:17:25): But HPV isn't just a problem for women. In men, HPV can lead to genital warts, anal cancer, and penile cancer.
nsvrymggt (3:18:12): Men may eventually be approved to use Gardasil in the future. >.< But that won't help me regardless, because it's an immunisation, not a cure.
nsvrymggt (3:19:05): Genital HPV is passed on through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. A person can have HPV even if years have passed since he or she had sex. Most infected persons do not realize they are infected or that they are passing the virus to a sex partner.
Very rarely, a pregnant woman with genital HPV can pass HPV to her baby during vaginal delivery. In these cases, the child may develop warts in the throat or voice box – a condition called recurrent respiratory papillomatosis (RRP).

nsvrymggt (3:19:33): ...in other words... even if I treat my warts... . the problem. Will never. Ever. Ever. Go away.
nsvrymggt (3:20:04): So fuck it. I may as well not even treat it.
nsvrymggt (3:20:57): There is no treatment for the virus itself, but a healthy immune system can usually fight off HPV naturally.
nsvrymggt (3:21:40): *presses the A button*
Continue
Retry
> Quit
nsvrymggt (3:23:09): I was probably better off not asking. >.>

nsvrymggt (3:29:21): One of these days... I will be happy. I promise.
nsvrymggt (3:32:06): Such a common disease... >.< You'd think they'd have a cure.

Needless to say, I'm a sad cynical bastard.

// I've been living with this disease for 3 years, now...

// To me, what is dating outside of confirming that you'd fuck her brains out, anyway? I mean, what would I possibly GAIN from a relationship that I couldn't otherwise have from a friendship? I just don't see it... I'm scared to *want* to see the difference, because I don't want to hurt anyone. This disease ends with me, god damn it!

// I'm so scared of fucking up and hurting someone else, infact, that I've decided never to meet anyone. Call me a coward, or whatever the fuck you want, it still stands that I cannot hurt another person the same way that I was hurt, especially if I care about said person. If I hated anyone, I still wouldn't wish this disease on said person.

[Ascended Mermaid]

So anyway, I decided that I don't want to meet anyone in person, and that I want to quit my job and just be a bum for now. I'm not the happiest person in the world. By the time I'm done doing all of this, I'll leave myself with nothing. I simply don't care anymore.

[Sarthraa]

My planned purchaces are:

Legacy of Ys: Books I & II (DS)
Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon (DS)
Guild Wars 2 (PC) Whenever the hell it's released lol...
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days
Phantasy Star 0 (DS)

Fang Gamepad by Ideazon (PC) Mostly for Guild Wars xD

Well, as you can tell, I'm an RPG freak lol. If anybody here plays Guild Wars and wants to meet up with me somewhere my most used character is Indar Bloodfang. If you guys have any input on this stuff, let me know okay?

@unsavory Fieg
Try not to look at things that way. Look at what things you have in life. Also, try counting your blessings; you have more than you may think! Just don't throw your life away, it's worth more that you think it is.

[Ascended Mermaid]

Well... I have my family, and my games, and the people on the internet that I interact with on a daily basis. I have my writing, my game development bid, and my international shipping bid, so there's plenty I suppose.

It just feels so frustratingly simple and the bad eggs in my basket seem to outweigh the good eggs, even though I have some very, very good eggs in this basket. Maybe I'm greedy.

I suppose I'm just impatient in looking for a little more adventure. Staring at the same windows, the same walls, the same laptop with the same context littered about my everyday life just seems all too plain.

[Sarthraa]

Yeah, try to look at the good things, and try some new things too while you're at it! If you have a good family, friends, and occupations, I say that's good enough to out-weight the things you don't like. Sometimes simple things are the best things, too. Always try out new things, and who knows, maybe you will find some new window to stare at. Try not to let people upset you either, that will just make you feel crappy. It does sound like you got some good things, though, but like I said before, try new things; maybe take a vacation to a place that you've never been to before! You will find something to cheer you up before you know it.

[SkyeWelse]

Well, as you can tell, I'm an RPG freak lol. If anybody here plays Guild Wars and wants to meet up with me somewhere my most used character is Indar Bloodfang. If you guys have any input on this stuff, let me know okay?

I used to play for awhile, but I kinda ended up not having enough time for it. But I did start a thread about it here earlier regarding the possibility of forming a guild of Falcom fans. Before I stopped playing my character, Dark Sieg Fact, I ended up making a guild called "Falcom Fanatics".

Here's that thread: seldane.proboards107.com/index.cgi?board=gaming&action=display&thread=790&page=1

Shame that the pictures are now expired on imageshack....
My character was really beginning to look like some classic Dalk=Fukt.

-Thomas

[Ascended Mermaid]

Can anyone tell me if VidGameTesters is legit?

I'm thinking of taking the dive, if it's real! :o

// I checked and a simialar (VERY SIMIALAR, like... same exact layout) site called iGameTester is said to be a total scam. Yet Game Test Guru (the source of the iGameTester review) has a link to VidGameTesters as well as a supportive review of Only4Gamers. I don't know who or what to believe.

// It's so hard to find a legit site out there. :o I'd really like to get into this field, however. I think I'm more than just qualified to do this, I'm ready to do this. Seriously, they don't expect a bacheleors or any college/tech course, do they?

// I checked out Gamer Testing Ground and... it looks to have VERY identical information to VidGameTesters -- specifically, both sites share this same EXACT testimony:

"Here's a success story for your website... In the beginning I was a bit skeptical, but then I received a free game, and then a $300 check! I used to spend my time playing games and not being 'productive'. Now I play games AND I'm being 'productive'. What a change, right? Thank you for giving me this opportunity!" - Nick, C. New York, NY.

// So far, I've checked Nintendo, EA, Activision, Ubisoft (Canada?!), and WayForward -- it seems that all of the jobs are actually on-site, thus negating the scams mentioned above.

[Sarthraa]

Hmm...that pop-up while navigating away from the page makes it look a bit fishy, but that's just me cuz I really hate those windows, some of those kind of windows are hard to get away from lol...

[Ascended Mermaid]

I'll have to look for another job, or chill with my uncle in California and see if I can get a ride to a QA Testing job. I don't really know, or think that a QA Testing job would pay enough for living in California, but it's an idea.

[Ascended Mermaid]

I'm not looking for barely surviving, however -- I'm looking to break free. Some kind of income that's going to not only support myself, but also support my hobby and prospects -- so dear friends and coworkers like Del Stimpson (and possibly Virt, Tim Follin, etc.) can get working and get paid. I wonder if I could manage more than one QA Testing job at a time.

[Ascended Mermaid]

What kind of education were they looking for / did you have? Do they have any openings, or are there any simialar jobs nearby?

// Would backloggery work/constitute as a potential resume resource?

[Ascended Mermaid]

It sounds like those jobs are right up my alley, especially given my somewhat extensive background.

I'll have to look into it more and see if perhaps there are other QA opportunities available.