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Post by cassiopaeia on May 3, 2009 20:11:57 GMT -5
Hi there.
By now you guys have heard that I'm writing a fanfic from Dogi's POV, first person, called "Sky Eyes".
Well it's halfway done now, and I thought I'd post a bit of a teaser of the fic itself. Lemme know what you think.
--
Yeah, it's true that Adol's the kinda guy that compels everyone he meets, just by being himself. His sense of humor still needs a lot of work and he'll still deny anything having to do with being swayed by a woman's wiles until he's blue in the face...but I guess that's part of what makes him...well, him.
Those eyes of his is another part of it.
Blue eyes aren't common on a redhead, and his are even more unique. They're very clear, for one thing. For another, they're so blue that when you look into them, you get the feeling that you're really looking at a sky that goes on forever, with mysteries just beyond the edge.
They're the kind of eyes that made me want to go see just what those mysteries were.
You could say that they haunted me until I decided that I'd leave Minea with him, without a word to anyone, not even ol' boss Gorvan.
After a short time of traveling, I finally came up with a way of describing the expression that had compelled me to go.
Sky eyes.
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Post by SkyeWelse on May 6, 2009 0:13:10 GMT -5
I really like the start of it for the most part, though to be honest near the end I feel a bit like Dogi is saying so much about Adol's eyes in three or more sentences that he comes off (at least to me) as being a bit too overly infatuated with him. I mean several of us here have a unique sense of humor in that we'll often joke about Adol and Dogi being sort of well, a yaoi kind of couple, since they are pretty much always together. Some of us have even gone as far as to call Dogi the "Man Crusher". *laughs*
You don't have to take this advice in the least, especially if you feel it's going to change your story or overall premise, but you might consider balancing Dogi's intrigue with Adol's spirit and sense of justice and adventure with his own sense of wanting to explore the world himself.
Also, I think even in a monologue, Dogi would be referring to Adol as "This Kid" or something like that, especially when he was first starting to get to know him. Something like "Hard to believe that this kid actually managed to make such a difference for Esteria. I could see that this Adol had much promise to him, not only as a skilled swordsman, but well.. as a human being. There was just something unique about him, his eyes in particular...."
Good luck with it though. I'm looking forward to reading more when you're done with it. : )
-Thomas
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Post by Yakra on May 6, 2009 10:20:30 GMT -5
I always thought Adol had grey eyes...?  *blind* Anyways, I really like it so far, cassiopaeia! I'm not much of a fanfic reader, but this sound nice. Nice enough that I think I most definitely want to read the rest. As for the yaoi-ness/BL-ness, I think one only sees that because of all of the extra DogixAdol discussion that goes on over here? Ofcourse, your fanfic could be leaning off towards that direction! I mean, its just hard to say what it'll be like when all one sees is one paragraph's equivalent. It's still starting off nice though! I don't mind whichever side it goes off on! |
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Post by cassiopaeia on May 6, 2009 14:20:36 GMT -5
I just got in and read the comments.
First off, this is NOT yaoi of any kind. I've never written that sort of stuff and I don't intend to start now.
As far as the eye color goes, the DS version of Ys' instruction manual said "clear black pupils". (I saw this in the PDF format of the manual, found on GameFly) I may have my anatomy teminologies mixed up but I always thought it meant the center part of the eye, not the eye color. That, plus in the DS game itself, the eyes definitely looked to be sky blue.
I might be wrong on this though.
Elsewise, yeah I will definitely be making adjustments to the fic based on the advice and comments.
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Post by Ascended Mermaid on May 6, 2009 14:36:23 GMT -5
Glowing with red hair, black eyes and a fresh young man. ...and a fresh young man? Adol had a kid?! ...the kid glows? |
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Post by Red Hairdo on May 6, 2009 14:39:03 GMT -5
Yeah, that's why I don't like Ys I DS/ Ys I COMPLETE's intro to much when it comes down to how Adol is looking;  He's has an idiotic expression on his face, also with those strange blue eyes. The most loyal Adol artwork I have ever seen is in Ys ETERNAL. Not only the most loyal, but, in my opinion, the best. By the way, his eyes were also blue in the anime; at some parts at least. xD |
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Post by cassiopaeia on May 6, 2009 14:57:45 GMT -5
Yeah, that's why I don't like Ys I DS/ Ys I COMPLETE's intro to much when it comes down to how Adol is looking; He's has an idiotic expression on his face, also with those strange blue eyes. The most loyal Adol artwork I have ever seen is in Ys ETERNAL. Not only the most loyal, but, in my opinion, the best. By the way, his eyes were also blue in the anime; at some parts at least. xD Very true. I've got the Anime, too, and in it, they're definitely sky blue. I'd love to see some artwork from Ys Eternal. Any links to some? |
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Post by Red Hairdo on May 6, 2009 17:29:09 GMT -5
Sure thing.  |
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Post by Wanderer From Ys on May 6, 2009 22:47:18 GMT -5
Here is the blue eyed Adol  |
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Post by Ranzor on May 7, 2009 1:19:37 GMT -5
Are those from the PC-Engine or SNES? I forget.
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Post by Wanderer From Ys on May 7, 2009 1:39:25 GMT -5
The bottom left image is from the PC-Engine. The rest are from the Genesis version. Although the PC-8801/9801,X68000 and MSX versions have basically the same artwork
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Post by cassiopaeia on May 7, 2009 15:01:54 GMT -5
Oh my! Those do look nice.
Hmm...I may have a solution. Considering the inconsistency in even Falcom's stuff where this is concerned, I thought of putting (basically) that folks can't completely figure out if they're blue or black, because at times, they look more blue and at other times, closer to black.
What would you guys think of this?
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Post by Red Hairdo on May 7, 2009 16:47:16 GMT -5
Either brown or red.  I have also seen his eyes even in green before. Adol Rainbow Arsenal of Eyes |
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Post by SkyeWelse on May 7, 2009 21:21:22 GMT -5
I think Adol's eyes change based on various region climates. : ) That would explain it.
But for the purpose of your fanfic, you might either just choose a color that works best, or scrap the color description entirely and go with something like "Eyes of a ____" "His eyes were like that of a ____" type of thing.
-Thomas
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Post by cassiopaeia on May 7, 2009 22:23:41 GMT -5
Heh heh. Never thought that the fanfic I'm working on would kick up such a discussion.
Anyway, I think that I'll either go with SkyWelse's thought (changes with the region) or the solution I suggested. I may even do a mix of the two. Either way, it'll be interesting.
BTW, that latest picture...
What is the translation of the text? I'm learning Japanese via Pimsleur, but currently, it's limited to the phonetics only, as I haven't picked a kanji to learn yet (thinking maybe hiragana)...
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*blind*
He's has an idiotic expression on his face, also with those strange blue eyes.
