Warhammer Anyone?

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

I think we have both overlooked a very important fact.

[michaelchaoslord]

LOL, well the orkz pretty much have to, how is he playing chords with that eavy claw. Sadly some chapters have different policies.
WHAAAAAAGH
fc01.deviantart.com/fs15/f/2007/102/a/0/Pretty_Marines_III_by_Jaekyu.jpg

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

Ah, the Pretty Marines.




We must also not forget that Kharn the Betrayer is one hell of a guy.

[michaelchaoslord]

Preheresy Kharn! I've recently fought my friend"s Necron army with my eldar but lost, too hard to kill, will try marines next time. I have a Khorne army for fantasy, if you want I could show you some of my work .

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

Oh no, that's post Heresy.


"As I always say, Kharn the Betrayer was pretty fun to be around, and contrary to popular belief he actually had a sense of humour as well. Probably the best example was in the middle of the campaign during a sweeping of an Imperial Guard command post, with Khorne Berserkers and our Red Rivers company marching directly into the defensive fire. The closer we got, the more apparent it became that the only thing holding the Guardsmen together was a grizzled looking Commissar in full uniform, one gun turned on us and another firing on any of his men who looked like running.

Kharn was at the tip of the assault, and so he got to the Commissar first, plucking the screaming officer up by the neck and holding him over his head.

Then, out of nowhere one of the other berserkers grabs the Commissar's legs and roars "MAKE A WISH!". Well, as you can imagine everyone on both sides forgets about the fight, and watches Kharn and this other Khorne worshipping marine just start pulling on this Commissar at both ends, the old man screaming out oaths and curses like you wouldn't believe! You could almost hear the sound of flesh tearing and bone snapping over the cheering.

Then, Kharn just let go. Totally not expecting it and pulling with all his might, the Khorne Berserker just falls backwards and starts tumbling with the near dead Commissar into a damaged hellhound, his armour grating off it and sparking!

Well, after the explosion we all turned back to Kharn, who had managed to keep a hold of the Commissar's fancy hat. Ol' Kharn put it on, and damned if it wasn't the funniest thing any of us had ever seen... till he turned to us and bellowed "I'M THE NEW COMMISSAR" at us.

They tell me five thousand traitor guardsmen died that day before someone could take that hat off him.

What a kidder!"

-Anonymous

[michaelchaoslord]

Yeah I always thought the marines had a sick sense of humor especially the chaos due to the fact they have no rules. I would give samples but can't think of any right now . Here is some picks of my models

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

"Contrary to popular belief, Kharn the Betrayer was a pretty fun guy to be around during a blood-letting campaign. Sure, he'd get so wrapped up in the blood-lust that he'd butcher friend and foe alike but it's not like you didn't get a fair warning from his name or anything.

I served in the traitor guardsman legions known as the Red Rivers, because we got sent in first to soften up the positions and you could see our progress by the red river of our blood. I kept running into Kharn during one of the bigger scourging campaigns, and he wasn't dickish about the whole him being a space marine and me being killed by laser-lights or angry glances at all.

The first time I saw him, I was on perimeter patrol at one of our forward outposts, we'd just overrun a Sororitas non-militant chapel, and the Slaanesh boys were shirking their duty to go rape the sisters in a clearing near the chapel. I was watching from afar when Kharn strides up, cool as you like holding the largest stone pillar I've ever seen. I turned back and the whole fucking chapel was falling down. He'd just ripped the goddamn thing right out and was carrying it on his shoulders!

Then, if that wasn't insane enough he went and hefted this whole pillar through the air, and crushed the entire congregation of rape in the name of Slaanesh, defilers and victims all in one go.

I was just standing there dumbfounded when Kharn looked at me, as though noticing me for the first time and yet not surprised by my presence at all. He held his palm out, and I obliged him a high five. He'd earned it.

Damn well shattered every bone in my arm doing it though.

Nice guy that Kharn."

-Anonymous

[michaelchaoslord]

(I am laughing uproariously at this very moment!) , wow that's one sick story. I love the whole chaos theme, its so original and so dark and evil, and makes more sense than the sith. ( I saw the jedi more as the enemy especially after the jedi sex scandal) Kharn is such a badass , the perfect champion for the blood god. I take it he's your favorite antagonist or Protagonist , I might buy the model and paint him someday for fun . What do you think of the models!, your welcome.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

Actually, that's pretty much backwards. The Chaos are really hackneyed. But that's what makes them fun, they're so unbashedly unoriginal that people will come up with crazy funtimes like Kharn the New Commissar. I mean, Khorne's following is entirely "we are evil and hit things a whole lot", so people diversify it themselves, because the base template is so bland and, well, basic.

AS FOR THE MODELS!

I really like those rusty swords in the first one. The second two are too blurry to really make out much detail, but I do like the use of glitter. Or glittery paint.


EDITO!

"The second time I crossed paths with Kharn was in a later stage in the campaign. We were besieging one of the major hives of the planet, and I tell you what that place was locked up tighter than a Dark Eldar's pants. My commander, Oxlor the Vilest was stuck in an argument with some idiot leader of some group of Death Guard. You could see the smell it was so bad. I could tell Oxlor wasn't happy, since everyone knows the Death Guard's answer to everything is to just walk at it and watch your bits fly off. Not so good for us soft and squishy guys.

Out of nowhere, this big hand grabs our commander by the shoulder and just hefts him aside, three whole trenches back where he rebounds off a basilisk. The crew was so shocked they fired off a round on a horrible trajectory, and the shell streaked high into the sky.

Kharn the Betrayer just himself dusts himself down, and then picks back up what he had been holding. Now, I'm no techpriest and I never will be, but I know a nuclear warhead when I see it. I don't know where he got it.

No one says anything, so The Betrayer just punches the Plague marine in the face, and stuffs the warhead into the leaking mess of his stomach while he was still reeling.

No run up, no preparation. He just fucking throws the other marine into the air at the hive. For a moment it actually looks like he's thrown the warp-damned fool OVER the hive, but as he flies over the top the basilisk shell comes down and spears him through the whole hive! There's a low boom noise, the ground shakes, and then the whole hive IMPLODES!

Everything clears, and Kharn looks at me, and I feel about one foot tall. I don't know if he recognised me, but he leans down and whispers. Kharn WHISPERS to me.

"I was trying to hit the Emperor's Children on the other side" he confides in me, and then nudges me as though it's supposed to be our little secret.

I was in traction for a MONTH."

-Anonymous

[michaelchaoslord]

Where are you getting all these cool stories?

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

4chan archive.

"
I've been fairly insistent to you readers out there that Kharn the Betrayer was a pretty fun guy to be around. I know he gets a bad rap for the whole 'slaughtering his own allies' thing, but unless you've been there after a battle with him you don't really appreciate how much he strives to please his chaos god.

It was after one of our many conflicts that the Red Rivers Infantry were preparing to march on to our next destination. Nevermind that it was half the planet away, we as traitor guard didn't get transport vehicles. So as you can imagine when someone declared they'd found an Imperial Drop-ship in working condition everyone clamoured and fought to get a free ride to our next engagement.

Knowing full well I was too far away to get on the ship, I stayed with some of my fellow traitors at the battlefield. I'd seen Kharn after the battle, and as soon as we'd gotten our marching orders he was picking up corpses and putting them down elsewhere. This took an hour before he was satisfied, and seeing an audience he happily led us up onto a hill as the drop-ship flew a pass over the top of us, probably to gloat. Proudly, Kharn gestured to the battlefield, and then waved up at the drop-ship with his other hand. I peered down the hill, and realized he'd arranged the bodies to make out words, so many killed to form:

On your drop ship hull

I planted a melta bomb

Blood for the Blood God

It was at that point the drop-ship erupted in a violent plume, and crashed down on top of the haiku. Roaring in a cheer, we lifted Kharn up together and made to carry him to the next battlefield as a sign of our appreciation and devotion to his art.

We got about five paces before our spines liquefied but Kharn didn't hold it against us for trying.

Seriously, what a guy."

-Anonymous

[michaelchaoslord]

I have just looked at Kharn's profile in the codex and found him quite a formidable character. Yeah he hurts his allies sometimes but in some way they could just be used for cannon fodder so that Kharn could get closer to the enemy. His GoreChild is a powerful weapon and has invulnerable saves to most weapons and Psykers. Not only that but is dirt cheap for a special Character. He's truly a badass.
LOL your new story is the best yet, I feel sorry for the Drop pod and the guys who had to carry him.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

If I were going to use Kharn, it'd have to be like this.

[michaelchaoslord]

I'd think he would due more damage with his own gun since its plasma, but at least he gets to experience the life of a guard. Did you draw this, its humorous ?

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

Naw, this is another creation of 4chan's.

And that's the fun of it, giving Kharn a gimped weapon simply because he'd use it for a laugh. Not to mention that the Imperial Guard and the Traitor Legions are awesome.

[michaelchaoslord]

You bet, their the best armies every..... well any army is awesome you just need to know what your doing, other wise you lose. Its really you personal taste that defines whats the best, personally I like the Eldar and Space Marines, Yet I don't care for Orks and right now Necrons are pissing me off, I don't know how anyone could best that army since they could regenerate and have really good armor saves, BS. I wonder when Kharn will ever becomes a Daemon Prince, though he doesn't need to, but the thought of him having wings makes him more dangerous along with other daemonic gifts.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

This. This is why orks are fun. You get to do this.

Also, with Necrons, remember that you only have to defeat 75% of their army to rout them and win. They're crazy powerful, but you don't have to break 'em all. Also, I kinda like the Necrons if only because it means the answer to every major mystery isn't "Tzeentch did it" anymore.

[michaelchaoslord]

Well he had a bunch of destroyers and wraiths surrounding his Destroyer lord with a Resurrection orb, so no matter what I do, I only brought at least one down with my reapers with guide powers. Then the destroyers would get close enough to to fire, also my Jetbikes went close enough to his warriors for lots of attacks but they all passed armor saves , so none of them died. I could never do anything to his monolith, cause meltas and lances don't work on it, at least its range is slow. I've never yet fought orks yet, but am waiting on it. I'm hoping there will be lots of tournaments coming up at the store nearby since 5th edition is coming out. I just need to practice and play more.

[Falcom Director of Fanservice]

Sounds like an effective turtler. =[

"A ork waaagh lands on a desolate necron tombworld, and the soulless automatons quickly arise to eradicate the infestation. Every single one of the boyz is vaporized, and sterilization fields are activated that kill off even the spores. But through mutation and sheer luck, one spore grows so quickly that it escapes the sterilizing fields. A single ork is born.

He acquires a choppa and pistol from the ruins of the orc's encampment, but there aren't any boyz to be found. The ork looks about uncertainly, then smiles and with a tentative "waagh!" runs off in a random direction- the boyz left without him, so he'll just have to track them down.

He wanders the dusty wastes for weeks. Once he sees smoke, but it turns out to be the remnants of some spilt fuel containers. He plays with the fire for a while, but moves on- after all, the real fun will be when he catches up with the boyz.

Then, to his joy, he finds one of the entrances to the tombs. Down in the vaults, he gazes across row after row of inert necron warrior. He runs through the halls for a while, roaring and firing his bolter, trying to liven the place up a little. Eventually he walks over and punches one of the warriors in the shoulder; it simply tips over. The tomb remains inert.

Since he's the biggest, the orc figures it's his job to whip these funny-lookin boyz into shape. He gathers a bunch of them together in a pile, then stacks a few more to form a nearby podium. Standing on it, the ork gives a rousing speech about how this is a sorry lot but he'll get them shipshape soon enough. He tries all sort of things to get a waagh going- insults, violence, praise and flattery. . .He tries hobbling around on folded knees, thinking that if he's smaller someone else might go and do a better job of starting a waaagh.

Eventually he goes up on the surface again. He heads off and after much searching manages to find the camp. Nothing there has changed. He grabs up as much dakka and choppa as he can carry and hauls it with him as he spends several weeks looking until he finds the tomb entrance again. Staggering over to where all his boyz are, he dumps the huge assortment of weaponry down and looks up hopefully. The moment stretches out as he stands there, looking on with a tentative smile. Eventually he starts picking up choice bits of weaponry and offering them to the necron warriors. None show any signs of interest.

He tries fitting in for a little while, by standing in the same posture and not moving. He pretends to leave and then sneaks back and peeks around the corner to see if any of the necrons move.

He wants to fight with somebody, just once. He wants to get shot up, to ride shotgun, hooting and hollering. He wants to meet a weirdboy or a nob or a dok. He wants to chant and pound the ground in unison with a massive crowd, to sail through the stars to a new world, to play catch with another ork using gretchins.

Just once, he wants to hear somebody call him something. Just one time; then he'd have a name.

He wishes he knew why the boyz left him behind.

He knows he'll find them. Some day..."

-Anonymous

[phaer]

each one has his hobby..nothing to be mocked...